I routinely talk with people who have just been diagnosed with cancer. They’re struggling with treatment decisions and the realization that life is suddenly different.
I also talk with people with advanced cancer who are coming to terms with a poor prognosis and the realization that, in all likelihood, they will die prematurely because of that cancer.
It is particularly devastating to receive both rounds of bad news at once — that you have cancer and that a cure is unlikely.
In the regular world all cancer is bad, but in oncology offices there are good cancers and there are bad cancers. I realize that “good cancer” sounds like an oxymoron, but cancer professionals often think in those terms. Good cancers are generally curable.
Of course, if it’s your cancer, it’s never a “good cancer,” a “garden variety cancer,” or any other term that seemingly diminishes your fears or the disruption of your life.
Breast cancer and prostate cancer are the most common cancers (aside from skin cancer), and they’re generally “good” cancers. People who receive these diagnoses undergo treatment and then return to their normal lives. In all likelihood, they will die many years later of something else.
But people who are diagnosed with the “bad” cancers often die from those cancers. New treatments are increasingly able to extend lives — often for many years — but a cure is the exception rather than the rule.
There are, however, survivors of even the worst diagnoses. I love meeting people who were treated for “bad” cancers years ago and are still going strong. There are no absolutes.
And many cancers fall somewhere in between being a good cancer and a bad cancer on the spectrum of cancer survivability. A recent movie had the title “50/50” which reflected the main character’s odds of being cured of his cancer.
People with cancer learn to coexist with uncertainty. We may not like it, but it is what it is. As one individual recently told me, “I don’t worry about the future because I can’t control it. But I can control how I lead my life today and I’m going to make the most of it.”
Reprinted with permission of the Ithaca Journal.
Original publication date: September 10, 2015
Bob Riter is the Executive Director of the Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes. He can be reached at [email protected]
I cry myself to sleep every night , I have stage lv matas breast cancer..thank you for your column today which helps me some…
Hi Li –
I’m sorry that you’re going through so much.
There’s a national group for people with metastatic breast cancer that might be helpful:
http://mbcn.org/
And I wrote another article that might resonate with you:
http://crcfl.net/content/view/living-well-with-advanced-cancer.html
I hope this helps. Know that I am sending good thoughts your way.
Bob
A couple weeks ago I received the “double punch” out of the proverbial blue after I’d visited the dr. about a rash and some swelling (no other symptoms)–metastatic rectal cancer. Ever since I’ve been trotting along a path outlined for me by medical personnel toward possible extended life. I think I will try chemo, but am more interested in the benefits of boosting my immune system nutritionally–there’s a lot to take in at every way station along the route. I’ve been seizing on sage offerings from sources as varied as the Bible to pop culture to use as mantras to sustain me, especially when my steps become plodding or I feel panic looming. I think I will add the comment you shared about controlling today and making the most of it to this nuggets of wisdom basket I now draw from–thanks.
Hi Nancy –
It really is so difficult to get “double-punched” like that. And your symptoms were seemingly so insignificant. I feel for you.
A couple of my earlier columns might be helpful:
http://crcfl.net/content/view/non-traditional-cancer-therapies.html
http://crcfl.net/content/view/decision-making-with-cancer.html
Know that I’m sending good thoughts your way.
Bob
Would you be able to direct me to someone with experience and knowledge of Medualky Colon Cancer? I am diagnosed with it T3n0. Thank you in advance!
Rainy Parton
Hi Rainy –
I hadn’t heard of that diagnosis before, so I looked it up. There’s very little information other than individual case reports. I did find this one article that might be of interest, but it’s definitely on the technical side of things:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4127912/
Where do you live? I would definitely want to go to a major cancer center to talk with someone who may have some experience with this.
Sending good thoughts your way,
Bob
10 yes ago finished chemo-radiation on throat cancer, now neck is crocked, voice is hoarse, need water with every swallow. Am I alone?
Hi Peter – people who have been through treatment for head and neck cancers have probably the roughest treatment of anyone. But you certainly aren’t alone. I recently wrote about a woman who’s had a similarly difficult time:
http://crcfl.net/content/view/cornelia-rea-1.html
I know that she found the Oral Cancer quite helpful: http://www.oralcancer.org/
Another good group is called SOIHNC: https://www.spohnc.org/about_spohnc.php
Where do you live? Maybe I can direct you nearby resources.
Sending good thoughts,
Bob