I’m always happy when readers tell me that the advice I provide in my columns about cancer is just as applicable for people with any type of serious illness.
Increasingly, I think the lessons I’ve learned in the cancer world have applications to life even more broadly. Here are some examples:
- People should stop giving advice to everyone on every topic. You can see this now on Facebook. Someone will post that they’re having a problem with their health, relationships, finances or whatever, and their friends (and often complete strangers) respond with advice. Honestly, most of this advice is not helpful and it’s sometimes harmful. Giving advice regarding cancer is especially dangerous. It’s good to support your friends when they’re having problems, but stop telling them what to do.
- Realize that you can’t control everything. We don’t know why most people get cancer. Things happen in life that we can’t control. But we can control how we respond to the challenges that we encounter.
- At some point, you have to trust the professionals that you work with and accept that they have your best interests at heart. If you don’t trust your doctor (or lawyer or insurance agent, etc.), get another one. If you find that you don’t trust anyone, you should look at yourself.
- There is no single right path through cancer or through life. Don’t think that your path is the right path for anyone else.
- Anxiety and depression make us poor decision-makers. It’s good to address those problems before you need to make critical decisions.
- We need more people to listen and fewer people to talk.
- We all have the ability to be kind to one another. There’s nothing that’s more important.
Reprinted with Permission from the Ithaca Journal
Publication Date: December 19, 2015
Bob Riter is the Executive Director of the Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes. He can be reached at [email protected]
Thank you for this list that is so relevant to anyone. It goes along with an article I read earlier this week about how to talk with a person who has cancer and what platitudes cause more harm than good.
There is a fine line between knowing about one’s cancer, or other condition, and trusting one’s doctor. I want to know about my cancer. I want to be able to discuss treatments with my doctor. I want to know why he recommends certain treatment regimens for me so that he and I can come to a mutual agreement about what path to follow. But, in the end I trust his judgement and experience in treating people with my type of cancer.
Thanks so much!
Wishing you all good things in 2016.
Thankyou for the wonderful lessons you shared with us. Im nasoparyngeal cancer survivor I was diagnosed last may 2015 and treated right away with radiation therapy along with chemotherapy. Iam blessed to be given an opportunity to have 2nd chance in life. Thanks God for that. To be honest after they say that the tumor on my nasoparynx was already gone i cried in happiness because as a mother i know that i can be with my child until they grow up. Hopefully! In Gods will.. Im afraid that the cancer might go back again and so hard for me to face it. If i felt something unusual it makes me worried.. And afraid to back to my doctors because im afraid on what might it be. Anyways thanks for encouragement Godbless more powers!
Thank you for your comments.
Sending all good wishes for 2016.